Welcome, everyone. My name is Jeremy and I am fat. I also deal with depression and anxiety. Now that I have those factors about me out of the way, let me explain why it is important that I actually say these words. For years, we have been made to think that being called fat is the be all, end all thing. If you are fat, you are unloveable, you are garbage, and you don't belong in society. This is simply not true. If you are fat, it is because you carry extra weight. That does not make you who you are as a person. It is just a descriptive word. Fat people can still be fit. Fat people can still be beautiful. Fat people can still be healthy. Sure, according to my BMI I am obese, but I can still run a long distance without stopping, I can lift heavy things, my bloodwork says I am incredibly healthy, and I am constantly improving myself.
Like millions of people, I have struggled with my weight all my life. I've been bullied about it, I've punished myself by eating a lot, and rewarded myself by eating my favorite food. In my adult life, I have weighed as little as 164 lbs and as much as 315+ lbs. My weight is currently at 216, down from 285 a year ago. Even with all of that achievement, I still struggle with food. I love junk food. I love the way it tastes, I love the way it makes me feel, and I know it's not good for me. I am not a fan of most vegetables. Most of them taste boring or I think they taste gross. Eating healthy is a challenge. I could make a ton of excuses as to why I don't eat healthier, but it would be just that, an excuse.
Until recently, my relationship with exercise has been me putting the gym in the friend zone. She wanted me to love her and leave my sweat and tears with her, but I just stopped giving her the time of day. It was hard, and not very fun. Besides, I didn't even know if I was doing it right if that makes sense. I would go to the gym, do a few things with the weight machines, it would start to hurt and I'd move on to something else. Never pushing myself to do more. I'd go to the elliptical and go at a steady pace for 30 to 40 minutes and call myself good, never really doing anything to challenge my speed. I wouldn't really lose any weight, but I also didn't go enough to make a difference. Besides, I'd just eat a bunch of junk after I finished anyway because I just worked out and now my body needs all of this food, which was more calories than I burned. You can see where this is leading. I didn't lose any weight and I got frustrated with trying and I quit. It wasn't until Orangetheory Fitness opened up in my neighborhood that I was finally able to get into a workout routine that actually worked for me. The classes are high energy, they're different every single day, and no matter where you are in your fitness journey, it can work for you. If you can't run, ou can power walk. If you can't lift heavy weights, you can use the lighter ones. Now, it may not be the workout that works best for you, but it is the one that works for me. In fact, in the year that it has been open, I've gone from not being able to run a block to participating in my first 5k run in 25 years.
As I mentioned in the beginning, I also deal with depression and anxiety. Whenever these start showing up, I withdraw from everything and I eat like shit. I'll have a bag of potato chips for dinner and a candy bar for dessert, and drink a big soda to go along with it. Everything about this is as unhealthy as you can get. Whenever my depression and anxiety kick in, I need constant validation that I'm doing well, and at the same time, I don't want to be bothered and every single thing you do will probably annoy me. Thankfully, I have pills, so that helps. They say that exercise and the sun are two things that are supposed to get rid of these feelings, but I promise you that this is not true for everyone. When my anxiety and depression are high, I start to make excuses to why I can't do things. I will tell people I am sick, or that I fell asleep and didn't wake up in time, or I just won't even bother to show up with no explanation. When it comes to working out, I will look for valid reasons to not go. The one thing that I love about my gym is that if I don't cancel within a certain amount of time, I will have to pay a cancellation fee. If it wasn't for that, I am sure I would have skipped a ton of classes. It is the one thing that will guarantee to keep me accountable.
I know I am not the only one who goes through this. I know that many of you struggle with dieting and find excuses as to why you can't exercise. Some of those excuses are quite valid. I am not a doctor and I will not tell you to suck it up and do it. Just know that you are not alone in your struggles. As I share my stories, my successes, my failures, and my milestones, feel free to leave me your stories as well. We are all int his together. You never have to be alone while you make yourself a better you. If there is one piece of advice I can give you though, it's this: focus on the daily accomplishments as you work toward your goals. The scale is a liar and your clothes will tell you the truth. Finally, never forget that fat isn't a bad word and you should embrace who you are right this minute.
